I lost my husband of 16yrs in february. Im struggling alot right now, i thank the lord he isnt suffering with the cancer anymore and he did not have to fight with this covid19 but unfortunately i am finding it hard finding employment as i was his caretaker an not working. I have no family to help right now and struggling with being alone and tryin to keep a roof over my head. Im not dealing well with emotions right now.
Grief of husband
Posted by Latonya Bssilone on April 20, 2020, 3:21 p.m. PDT
I'm so sorry for what you are going through...it is difficult to find your way even when you have family helping. I know the feeling of suddenly having to take care of everything your spouse took care of, plus keep taking care of everything you took care of. And, being a caregiver is emotionally draining. I lost my first husband in 2013 to cancer and just lost my second husband in March to the same evil cancer. I hope there will be some help through this group for you, Latonya.
My condolences to Latonya and Connie on the loss of your husbands. I do understand what both of you are going through. I just lost y husband on April 21, 2020. My husband had been fighting cancer since 2015. He had stage 4 colon cancer that had metastasized to his liver. In 2017 he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. The prostate cancer metastasized to his spine and bones in February 2020 after that his health failed very fast. He had 10 rounds of radiation which I think contributed to that. Prior to that he had taken 150 plus rounds of chemotherapy treatments. I was his caretaker as well, I had to resign from my job in 2017 after my FMLA was exhausted. I am having a hard time dealing with my husbands death and I try to take it one day at a time but some days are so hard for me because I do not know how I am going to manage financially. I am glad that I came across this group maybe it will help me to start feeling a little better.
You can do a google search and type in various names, such as help for widows, financial helps for widows plus add your county, city, and state names, you may find some help with your financial situations Latonya and Latasha. I live in a Florida county and was surprised to find some good lists, especially under county.
I am a senior and began living with my daughter and son-in-law just before my husband had his surgery in early October 2019. I will continue living with them until such time that I need more care as they both work. I will be checking in to affordability of senior assisted living facilities, which I hear are extremely costly in Florida. God bless both of you and I hope you get the help you need...grieving is bad enough without the added stresses that suddenly fall on our shoulders.
Jo, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope for you that you have a good support system, and that you will feel that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Seek help, both from friends, family and your community. It is difficult to think you will ever find your way again, but you will. God bless! Connie Hukvari
Annya, I am sorry for your great loss. You said it well when you called it a vacuum ... the place our mind takes us to grieve, to remember, and even to worry about the future. Each of us struggle in that place for our own determined time, but we do get out...you will get out. One day at a time is painful while dwelling on our loss, and we must take the time to dwell and to grieve. When a spouse has cancer we grieve them even before they let go and leave us. I say to you as I have said to others: reach out to friends, family and others in your community. It is a very important step in our claim on life...may God bless you as you walk through this valley.
My condolences to all you amazing ladies that have lost their spouse. My husband just passed away July 14th from complications from leukemia. He was only 51 years old and leaves me and our beautiful 15 year old daughter. He had a double lung transplant in 2016 and did very well for a number of years. He was diagnosed with leukemia last year. He had undergone a few rounds of chemo and we were so hopeful that he'd get a bone marrow transplant. His brother was a 100% match. Last week he developed a fever. I brought him to the hospital and was later told that he had multiple infections. His weak body just couldn't mount a defense and even with intubation, dialysis and tons of meds, he couldn't recover. My strong, courageous husband took his last breath cradled in my arms. We were together 28 years. I still feel like this can't be happening. How is this real? How do I live without my love? I am scared, but at the same time, I know I must move forward and must be strong for my daughter. I have experienced grief already in my life; losing my mom when I was only 22 and my dad only 2 years ago. Somehow, this is different. I'm sure you've all felt like part of your being is just gone; ripped away. You wonder if you'll ever feel "normal"; whatever that is.
Dear Caryn: I send my heartfelt sympathy to you and your daughter ... such a devastating loss. It is to me a beautiful love story that you were there with him at the end. . .it is bittersweet, to be sure, but a memory you will come to cherish as times passes. To know that you have to move forward puts you a step ahead; but do take your own time to grieve, and also to grieve with your daughter. Your normal has surely changed, and no matter your future, that space that your husband filled in your heart will always remain only for him...filled with beautiful memories. I've been through this twice, losing both husbands to colo-rectal cancer just seven short years apart. I pray for your comfort and peace and strength in the days ahead.
I send my deepest condolences to all the people who have posted here about the loss of a spouse. My husband died suddenly on Nov 12, 2018. We had been married for 42 years. It was what they call a widow's heart attack, meaning even if he had been in the ER they could not have saved him. I never imagined I would have to make so many decisions in such a short time. I had to sell the home he and I built because it would be too costly for me to stay in it. I also had to sell and give away most of everything we owned, then move thousands of miles away to live with my daughter, husband, and children. It has been a struggle to learn to do things without his input. It is also hard to meet new people and make friends when you are 60 and a widow. After much prayer and discernment, I felt the Lord calling me to start a blog dealing with grief and recovery, so in February of this year that is what I did. It took some time for me to get the nerve to share it with others and I still find it hard to do at times. But I do believe it has been helpful for me to share my journey and the strength I have found by leaning on the Lord. Hugs for My Heart has definitely been a place I can share how I've been dealing with the pain, loneliness, loss, and anger over the death of my husband.
I will certainly keep all of you in my prayers, that you can feel God's presence in this time of grief. Also that you know you are not alone, even if you feel like that. Everyone experiences grief and heals differently but know that we all are going through this storm of life together. Even if you only see one set of footprints, know that is because God is carrying you. ❤️🙏🏽